Torn...

I am so torn over what to do!  I have a pro/con list that doesn't seem to be helping me make a decision on whether or not to stay in SC or to just go back to MN.  There is no easy answer.  I have been praying that the right choice will just come to me, but so far I don't get that one way is better than the other.  It would be easier to move back to MN.  Plus I would have my family, but I was never happy there.  Seven years & I still didn't like it.  Now I am realizing that over all it wasn't totally bad.  But at the same time, is it welcoming enough to move back?  See, torn.....

Remember that tv show Gumby?  Remember how his body could be stretched and twisted and pulled in all kinds of directions.  That is how I feel right now.  Being pulled one way by one arm, and the other way by the other arm.  Ahhhhhh!

It's also more complicated because there are things here that could add so much to my life.  People that could brighten it and make things complete for me as well as for them (potentially).  I don't want to leave that yet without having given it the time that I think it deserves.  The time that him and I deserve to learn and see what happens together.  After 17 years of knowing him, I think I owe myself (and him) that much at least.

I honestly don't know what to do still.....I suppose I just need to give it a little more time.  Enjoy the time I have with the people who are honest, true and humble here and see what happens.  It's so hard to give it all to God and try not to worry about it.  I suppose the outcome is what it is, if I have a job in 3/4 weeks then I can stay if not then I go back.

But I am so torn, cause I really am not sure that going back to MN is the thing for me to do!

     Torn, torn, torn.......